Another year has almost come to pass, and as we stare down the giant fallopian tubes of a gender reassigned Chronos for our age, awaiting the delivery of a plump baby decade, it is time to pause and reflect on what the previous 12 months spawned in the way of not-very-well written news from Cambodia.
It was a year of casinos, crime, kidnaps and car crashes, with the occasional sprinkle of good cheer and a healthy dollop of W.T.F. stuff that couldn’t possibly be made up.
We take the first tentative flip-flop clad steps down memory alley, avoiding the dog turds and doorways smelling like pee, to January. Back in those days nobody took it seriously, we had contributors who couldn’t write and nobody knew how to work the software work properly. There has been little improvement.
Here are some of the high/lowlights of January 2019.
The first story of the new year involved a Chinese man smashing his lovely Ferrari on Monivong.
There was also a weird story after a man fell from under a plane taking off from Siem Reap airport.
Setting a trend for the next 12 months were 3 Chinese men, arrested for assault and possessing a firearm.
We nearly forgot about the sage that unfolded when a cosmetic surgery clinic was raided and the boss released, jailed and released again.
There was the first reported casualty along National Road (of Death) 4.
Thais running a ’29 Baht’ store in Poipet were found to be dealing more than cheap tat.
A Sihanoukville gunslinger claimed the first victim of the year in the wild east.
And British scientists discovered even ivory in Cambodia can be fake.
A process of evicting mostly ethnic Vietnamese families from the Tonle Sap began.
Some shady carry ons in Poipet began with a casino fire.
Cambodian football star pretended he was in the Premier League.
First meth in tea packaging story of the year (interesting how the design changes over 2019).
New airport trains arrived from Mexico
Blue balled Khmer dude wasted $57k on wedding.
First grumblings about Westport from the Chinese side
A 10 year old kid confessed to the murder of a 3 year old neighbor.
2 otherwise healthy Korean students on a volunteering program suddenly died.
A man trapped down a sewer for 10 days was rescued.
Everyone’s totally fave MILF Yinluck, did most 100% deffo not use a Cambodian passport.
This story was rubbish, but gave one of the best headlines of the year (voted by 2 people back in February).
Mental of the month award went to a Swede in Koh Kong.
We still have erotic dreams about this drunk driver
A major drug kingpin was caught.
Remember Teen Wolf? This methed up Chinese chap decided to recreate the iconic car surfing scene.
Over in Thailand, a Cambodian brief thief was arrested.
We were warned of a heatwave that didn’t happen
And the netizens lost their minds over Angkor Wat toilet seats
Pride as the world’s longest canoe is launched.
Fishermen used bombs as weights.
And the first baby dolphin of the year.
Kampot was promised a beach in time for Sea Festival.
Lots of dangerous garlic was set on fire (featured image).